Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Insecurities

I work at the same portrait studio where I took my high school senior photos. On my first day, one of my coworkers was showing me around and brought me to the back storage room where they keep extra props and hundreds of old disks of photos from years ago. Sure enough my old disk from my senior session was still there and I was allowed to take it.
I was seventeen when I took senior photos and man was I skinny. But I didn't feel that skinny when I was a teenager. I never exercised and I didn't eat well. I am proud, though, to say that I am not envious of my 17 year old body. I realize that my body has matured and my metabolism has slowed down a notch. I like my hips (most of the time). But of course there are things about myself that I struggle to love:

1. upper arms
2. square shaped face
3. nose
4. ankles
5. small feet
6. thighs
7. belly chub

I didn't put this list on my blog for people to tell me "Shut up Beverly, you're gorgeous." Or to fish for compliments. I know that I'm pretty, but like everyone, I have dumb insecurities. I feel a little silly posting about this while my mid section grows each week, and my chest has gotten bigger, and I'm expected to gain weight, but it has really been on my mind. I even had a mini meltdown about how unsexy I've felt recently. (Who knew that bigger breasts could make you feel unsexy?) I had a talk last week with a woman that I admire. She often vocalizes that she wants to change things about her physical appearance, and it just breaks my heart. I told her how this affects me when she puts herself down so often. I think she is beautiful and many others do as well. She is part of the reason I chose to write about this.

A couple of other bloggers inspired me to write about this subject as well. Here's a great quote from Samantha Heather:
"Joy is found when we rid ourselves of all expectations and comparisons and see everyone else as an individual, with their own set of flaws and gifts. To me, confidence is what is beautiful. ... We are never going to be satisfied. We are never going to have it all but once we start to look beyond the expectations and the comparisons perhaps we can be content with what we have and who we are and our insecurities can become a statement, a definition of us. This isn't a matter of how the world views us but rather how we view the world and the people and values that surround us."

Another great one from Kalee of Fred Rongo:
"Having a blog where you post pictures of yourself daily, really helps with getting over your insecurities. Not necessarily making them non-existent, but making them irrelevant. Showcasing  your insecurities. Yeah, I can hate things about the way I look, but at the end of the day, I really am thankful for how I am and how I feel. I'm confident in my body, even though it's not perfect. It took a while to get there. But I'm there. And I love it."

It's easy to make a list of things you hate about your appearance, so how about letting the world know what you love about your body? Along with the list of insecurities, here is my list of things I love about my appearance:

1. moles/beauty marks
2. eyes
3. smile
4. butt

Sure it's a smaller list than the insecurities, but I still think it outweighs that list.

(Here are a couple more from my senior photos 'cause look how cute I was :) ) 


Sunday, April 20, 2014

Bumpdate: 18 weeks


Happy Easter, every bunny! This holiday is one of my favorites because it is centered around the resurrection of Jesus, which is the most amazing thing to have ever happened (so far) on this earth. I know Easter was originally a Pagan  fertility holiday, hence all the bunnies (mad baby making machines) and eggs, which is cool too. But I'm glad that we can take this day to be reminded of the most important event of the world. I always feel so much peace on this day. 

I woke up this morning to a couple of parents celebrating Easter with their daughter this morning just outside our bedroom window. (Our window is above the entrance to our apartment building.) I sneaked a peek. She was wearing bunny ears and playing with bubbles and chalk as her parents took photos. Watching them made me excited to celebrate holidays with our kids :) So on to the bump update: 

How far along are you? 18 weeks 
Total weight gain: ? (baby is the size of a mango) 
Maternity Clothes? I just bought some maternity jeggings. What a relief. 
Stretch Marks? No.  
Sleep: Ok 
Best moments: Someone called me a baker yesterday. (Get it get it??) 
Missing anything? Bending down with more ease. I know I'm not even big yet, but I already hate bending down. 
Movement? I think so. 
Food Cravings: Everything and nothing at all. 
Symptoms: My back is starting to hurt. 
Belly Button in or Out? In. 
Happy or Moody? A little of both.
Looking Forward to: Possibly going to the temple this Saturday :) 


Also, we recently found out that The Most Interesting Man in the World is our neighbor. 


Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Carrie and Brad

I think that my "most recent photo session" is always my favorite. That's certainly the case with these engagement photos I took last week. I'm so pleased with how they came out. And I'm excited to photograph their wedding next month! Photographing people in love is my favorite. 
Here are my favorites:


Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Out of the norm

I'm not one to do much landscape/architecture photography, but last week before an engagement session I took these photos at the location while waiting for my clients to get there. All of these were taken in the same neighborhood, believe it or not. And the weather was lovely. I'm soaking up these good days of spring before the treacherous heat of summer decides to stick around. (Then it'll only get worse once we move to Arizona.)

p.s.! Wanna be friends? I wrote a guest post at Emily's blog talking about the things you should know about me if we're gonna be friends. Read all about it HERE.   

Monday, April 14, 2014

Bumpdate: 17 Weeks

These photos don't accurately show off my bump, and the lighting is weird. I wasn't too happy with the outcome so we took more photos later that day. I liked the new ones less than these, so these will have to do. I'll make sure to wear something form-fitting next week to really show you all how much I've grown. 

How far along are you? 17 weeks 
Total weight gain: 7 pounds (baby is the size of a sweet potato) 
Maternity Clothes? Not too many, but I'm more comfortable in loose fitting shirts. Ryan is getting tired of me stealing his clothes. 
Stretch Marks? No.  
Sleep: Awesome this week.
Best moments: Winning a pair of Freshly Picked moccasins for the baby! 
Missing anything? Wearing my favorite skirts and dresses.
Movement? Maybe(?) But my doctor said it's normal to not feel much of anything right now, which makes me relieved. 
Food Cravings: sweet things 
Symptoms: I just need to pee a lot. 
Belly Button in or Out? In. 
Happy or Moody? Pretty happy.
Looking Forward to: Registering for baby stuff! We actually don't find out the gender for a few weeks, but as soon as we do, I'm going to Target. 

Friday, April 11, 2014

Have plans for the weekend?

Are y'all familiar with web series? Are you a Jane Austen/Charlotte Bronte fan? Cool. If not, you're dismissed. But hey! Even if you aren't a big fan, you should watch these series anyway because I think they're pretty good. 

Pride and Prejudice in modern day: The Lizzie Bennet Diaries 
This series has wrapped up, so all of the episodes are available to watch on Youtube! My favorite characters are Lydia and Jane Bennet. And the guys are all attractive, so that doesn't hurt. Not everything in this adaptation lines up perfectly with the book (duh they had to make it for a modern audience), but honestly it's for the best. Watch it so we can fangirl over it together. Here's the entire playlist. 


Jane Eyre in modern day: The Autobiography of Jane Eyre. 
This series has a lower budget, but the writing and the characters are just as good! And Jane is so cute. I'm having fun watching new episodes each week. What's nice about this show is that, unlike LBD, the scenery changes a lot, so you're not always watching it from Jane's bedroom: the camera goes where she goes. And if you're familiar with the story then you know it's a bit creeeeeeeeepy at times. So there's that. I love it. Watch it so we can fangirl over it together. Here's the playlist of all the episodes so far. 



Emma in modern day: Emma Approved
This one is just fun and bright! Again, more attractive people. All the clothes are fun, and Emma even has a fashion blog. Watch it so we can fangirl, girl. Here. 


So if you don't have much going on this weekend then look no further. You're welcome. 

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Bumpdate: 16 weeks

Baby is the size of a turnip.
(this is just an estimate according to my pregnancy app)

How far along are you? 16 weeks 
Total weight gain: Not keeping track. Our scale is broken. 
Maternity Clothes? I bought another maternity dress at Savers this week. Note to self: check other thrift stores for maternity wear as well.
Stretch Marks? No.  
Sleep: Ugh. My sleep comfortability is inconsistent. 
Best moments: Realizing how grateful I am to feel like a normal person again instead of nauseous all the time. I love you, second trimester. 
Missing anything? SUSHI. Is it really that bad for pregnant women to eat raw fish? I think it's just an American thing, because sushi is considered good for pregnant women in Japan. The real concern is if you were to get sick from eating bad sushi, it would be bad news for mom and the baby. But I've never had spoiled sushi, ever. Oh, and you shouldn't eating sushi with high mercury content, like tuna. Any moms out there eat sushi during pregnancy? I'm just not too convinced that it's that bad for me to eat it. I've just been eating California rolls in the meantime. The struggle. 
Movement? No.... I wanna feel ya, baby! 
Food Cravings: Taco Bell. And sushi. 
Symptoms: I'm just kinda tired and hungry, but I was tired and hungry before pregnancy. My life. 
Belly Button in or Out? In. 
Happy or Moody? Pretty happy.
Looking Forward to: Finding out the gender! Hopefully next Tuesday. We are kind of hoping for a boy, but we'll obviously be happy with a girl too. 
In non-pregnancy related news: 
One of my favorite bands is reuniting after 6 six years apart! Copeland is releasing their 5th album this year. Just watch this and listen. Someone on the internet described this song as "running into an old friend" :) 


Also! Merriment's first album, Sway, is streaming on Pandora. My favorite tracks are Tremendous Love and Patterns. Make sure to give it a listen, especially if you're in need of some new tunes.